When it comes to keeping the lines of communication open, it tends to balance more to one side more than the other. And I raise my hand with guilt and hang my head in shame as I admit that I am the one side that doesn't even up the balance. Now that's not to say that I care less, or do not think of them just as frequently as they do me; I am just laying out the facts. And since we are laying out the facts... why does it seem like calling someone is forbidden? Why do we need to text first to get approval to call?
I could place the blame on our ever-advancing technology. The technology that has made communication not just easier but faster as well. Which is great but only to a point. We no longer have to wait for snail mail, which I still love to receive by the way. We "show" our love through text messages, Snapchat, Instagram and Facebook posts with cute filters, kissy face emoji’s, and hashtags. Clear my voice... guilty again! And, while technology has made "reaching out" to others so to speak easier, it has also taken away the basic knowledge of simply picking up your phone and actually dialing a number. My kids are a very good example of what it means to have absolutely no phone etiquette what so ever.
Having an actual phone conversation has become like a dying breed of animals on the verge of extinction; virtually non-existent. If your phone rings and it’s not a telemarketer then you assume that it is someone calling with bad new... Okay, maybe I am the only one who thinks this way.
I have a few friends, scratch that a few Sister- friends that have extended grace to me by holding up all the weight of keeping the lines of communication open. No matter how much time has passed between our last phone call, we are always able to pick right back up where we left off. I love them for it but not carrying my own weight can no longer continue.
You see in a recent conversation that I had with one of my sister- friend’s I was sadly reminded of the importance of keeping up with my end of making a phone call; not a text or a post on their Facebook wall, an actual call.
Our relationship goes back 30+ years! It was third grade. We weren't friends at first. You see there was a boy, and well, end of that story. Over time we did become friends. It was an on again off again kind of thing. We were girls, there were hormones, more boys, teenage years, secrets, ugly cries (because of previously mentioned boys) and there was laughter.
Anyone that knows her, knows that she has a big mouth and isn't afraid to use it. Depending on who you speak to her nickname would change but they all meant the same thing; Big Mouth AKA Squeaky. But she also has big heart to go along with that big mouth. I am rather ashamed to admit how much time has passed since our last phone conversation, and so I won't. She had called and I missed it. Then she sent me a text and I called her back.
The voice that had answered on the other end of the phone was one that I hadn't heard before, yet for a split second it was faintly familiar... Squeaky!!! I thought loudly in my head, almost loud enough that you'd think that I actually said it out loud. My next thought was that maybe her younger daughter had answered. But it wasn't her little girl. That voice coming out from the other end of the phone was weak, quiet, and broken.
There was no way that this could possibly be my Big Mouth Squeaky!!! Only it was and I was caught completely off guard; not prepared for the wave of emotions that would follow as our conversation continued. A floodgate of memories came rushing back to me. Like cruising aka speeding down the NYC streets on a hazy and hot summer day, blasting Biggie and Lil Kim (don't judge). Or back in middle school when we'd crush on some guy. That time that I copied her tiny handwriting and finished taking her notes while she disappeared to the restroom during class, only to find out that she realized that there were more words on her paper than when she left the class... I did a pretty good job though. Her mouth may be big but her handwriting was the complete opposite; you need a magnifying glass just to read it. How about that time that she used her big mouth to introduce me to my now husband.
Had it not been for Squeaky and her ability to completely ignore my request not to call him over, we may have never met. Who knows what this life that I call mine would have looked like. As my mind began to shift back to her voice I could hear her explaining to me where her health had taken her. I started feeling this lump beginning to form dead in the middle of my throat. I literally felt my heart begin to sink down from out of my chest and down to the bottom of my feet.
I guess she could hear the levels of concern start to rise. She reassured me that she was OKAY and that she was doing her best to focus more on the positive than the negative. Kind of like my motto " Always look for the rainbow." That lump that was filling up the center of my throat wasn't as noticeable by the end of our talk; still there but not as strong.
There was this one part of what she had said that stood out like a bright neon sign that glowed on a darkened empty street shielded from the glistening lights that shined on the surrounding streets filled with life. She had made peace with that fact that her body was changing and that she would (possibly) end up wheelchair bound... she had already faced going blind for a time, she doesn't walk the way that she used to, doesn't sound the way that she used to (always and forever my squeaky regardless). What she said was that the disease could take everything but just not to take her mind. Such a simple yet powerful request.
During the school year, our morning prayer with the kids includes us praying over their minds; that God would protect and fill their minds with the wisdom and knowledge that they needed for each day. That they would be able to make smart and sound decisions; that they'd be mindful of their surroundings. They are (were) very simple requests. Yet for Squeaky they mean so much more!
What I take away from this:
1. Don't allow modern technology to steal your voice and don't allow phone calls to become part of a dying breed.; because hearing your voice may be just what someone needs to hear.
2. Speaking of hearing... What if she and I never spoke and we only communicated via texts and FB?? I would have never noticed the change in how she sounded when she spoke. How do you know if someone is truly okay? You can hear it in their voice. How do you hear someone’s voice?? You pick up the phone and call them. Words on a computer or phone screen have no sound and they are emotionless. My sister -friends know when I am not being honest about how I am feeling because they can hear it in the tone of my voice.
3. Even if you know that people will extend grace to you for not carrying your weight with staying in touch; don't abuse it!!!
3 Comments
Jul 21, 2017, 9:23:01 PM
Cici - Awww so sweet ,Hi bunny I don't know if you remember but I'm squeakys sister ,I still remember how sweet you were then and you still are now. Huggs
Jul 20, 2017, 9:01:14 PM
Lisa Brown - Powerful and true! I am completely guilty of not calling anyone! I send a text because it's convenient and because it keeps me from being interrupted in what I feel is a fast-paced life. But as people I love leave this world for the next, I have not once wished I could have sent one more text. I do, however, long for the day I hear the sweet sounds of my loved ones' voices already celebrating with Jesus. Keep the movement sister!
Amen
Jul 20, 2017, 8:26:09 PM
Tunisia - Thank you sweetie my one and only Bunny and yes thank you for the trip down memory lane. I remember it like it was yesterday. Third grade oh boy. Elementary school all the way up until adulthood yes Bunny we have some wonderful memories.... Remember all the drives in the white Acura Legend.