So there has been something that I have wanted to say for exactly one year. I have wrestled with and struggled with when would be a good time to tell all of you. I say that I have wrestled with it because I still haven't fully accepted it yet. And I struggle with it because it changes things, a lot of things.
It changes how I function; as a wife, as a mother, and as... well just being me. I have been struggling with the idea of does it have to change me or my identity?? Does it even have that much control? How do I keep it from dictating my life? After all I am the one in control of my life; or am I?
I have plans, ideas, goals, and I have dreams. But, unfortunately nothing ever seems to go according to how I plan them out.
Ideas, I have tons of them floating around in my head. All of them pushing to have my undivided attention... their time in the spotlight.
Goals, There are the daily goals that start off as seemingly achievable. Then the morning routine of getting the kids off to school happens; then it becomes...Who me? Goals? What goals? Then you have the goals that you want to accomplish over time. Like finally coming to a reasonable agreement with your spouse on a color scheme for your very vacant dining room that has been the same way since you moved in nearly three years ago.
I have dreams. Some old, others new. Some more realistic and others more like wishful thinking. Dreams of finally being where I want to be with photography. Dreams of being in a movie or a TV show, or getting to do a voiceover for a new Disney movie.
Oh yeah, back to what I have been waiting to say for the past year!!!!
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
Okay, here it goes...
I ...
I ha...
I have...
I
HAVE
LUPUS!!!!
There , I said it!!!!
As I said I still have a hard time accepting it . Kind of like if you don't say it then its not true. I am still learning what this all means for me and my family.
Hear is what I do know...
NEVER. EVER, Google search any medical condition. According to some searches if you have a paper cut you only have 6months to a year to live. Just don't do it!!!!
Listen to your body
Life doesn't always go according to plan.
#LIFEUNSCRIPTED
But Gods' plans are always bigger and better than our own plans. Even when the plans don't seem fair, feels cruel, or undeserving...
there is always a bigger picture, a bigger purpose, and a bigger plan; more than what we can see directly in front of us.
Whatever Gods' plan is for me in this season still remains to be revealed. My job is to be focused on Him. To be patient with my ears wide open to hear when He speaks.
Until next time.
His plan is always better.
Even in the midst of the storm you can always find a rainbow;you just have to look for it.
Life can go off script or does it; all depends on which screenplay you are reading from.
Below the image are links to understand what Lupus is.
May is LUPUS awareness month.
2 Comments
May 7, 2017, 11:05:14 PM
Mckeva Livingstone - Thank you Tamika! Love you and how much you have been a loving and encouraging friend to me. So blessed that God placed us in each others lives.
May 7, 2017, 9:07:25 PM
Tamika - I'm so sorry that you have this battle to face but remember you have me in your corner my friend! I'm so proud of you and I am so inspired by your post. I love you! Keep pushing and putting God first hun. I'm looking forward to reading your future blog posts. ❤️